5 Ways to Deal With Miserable People

Let's face it, the world is full of miserable people, and they want nothing more than for you to be just as miserable (if not more than) they are. My clients almost immediately notice the amount of negativity in their environment as soon as they stop participating in the constant complaining and griping.

"Everyone is so miserable," a recent client said. "I can't stand to be around them." Well, as long as we are amongst the human species, we will need to learn how to deal with these miserable creatures.

1. Acceptance

The moment you begin to argue and complain about another person's negative behavior, you have joined their league. In order to step outside of this cycle, you must accept the situation as it is: miserable and all. When you stop trying to change another person (because you can't), you are free to live your life free from their negative energy.

2. Understand

Although I don't make it my business to understand other people, it has been most helpful for me to realize why people are negative. This understanding replaces anger with compassion. I've known a lot of miserable people in my life. Hell, I use to be one of them. Here's what they almost always have in common:

They operate from a place of lack.

Miserable people have a mindset that says something like, "If she's successful, then she's taking from me" or "If she's pretty, then it makes me less pretty." As you can imagine, this makes everyone an enemy that needs to be destroyed, and the best way to destroy the human spirit is to infuse it with negativity.

They are afraid.

Because they believe the universe is lacking of the resources that they need in order to live abundantly, miserable people are afraid, and this fear manifests itself in negativity in the form of anger, jealousy, envy, among other emotions.

They are filled with miserable thoughts.

I recently dealt with the very worst kind of my miserable life : a family member. This person, in a very cynical way, made a "hurtful" comment about something I am working on. At one time, I would have immediately become defensive, and I might have even believed him, but instead, I thought to myself, "Wow...he must have a lot of crappy thoughts." Then, I let it go, which leads me to the next point.

3. Don't take it personal.

When you understand the mental workings of the miserable person, you can step outside of the equation, and see it for what it is: not about you.